Monday, May 21, 2007

welcome race fans...

This, like all great journeys, starts with a single step. Unfortunately, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone taking a single step here.

Surely, someday you'll find yourself at a point in your life where you must decide whether it is worth trying anymore. This is usually called age 29, the answer is probably no and you should consider offing yourself, preferably not in public. However, if you are too chicken-shit to make a mess of your brother Bill's garden shed where you've been sleeping for the past 9 weeks (right under those oh-so-conveniently sharpened hedge shears), then I suggest you read on because you're gonna need an excuse to keep on living, and luckily for you I have just the thing that'll help put everything in to perspective.

Like most of you, I am a lazy piece of shit. Now I won't get all seven deadly sins on ya, but to keep it short and sweet, sloth is my favorite of the seven, and the creative force behind this blog. Sloth is not a habit or a learned trait, sloth is an evolution, a journey of sorts... and despite what I said earlier about all great journeys starting with a single step, the fact is, on this journey you're gonna need a ride. That is why God created personal mobility scooters (PMS for short), and why our government will happily help you offset the cost of personal freedom through subsidies.

I won't get into the details just yet, but suffice it to say that I will attempt to entertain that incessant need for inflating your self-worth at the expense of my local carting community with the hope that you won't end up offing yourself in Bill's shed even though it would technically lessen the economic burden on taxpayers in your community. I'm talking daily posts chock full of interviews with PMS riderz, biographies of your favourite PMS superstars, candid photos, exclusive videos, contests, reader interaction, and ultimately.... a full fledged PMS cart racing championship.

I've said too much. Enjoy your delicate reality while you still can...

Cart Life is just getting rolling.